Notes from Facebook

There are big decisions in my near future, same with every other high school senior, and with anyone else looking for a change of environment. With faith in Christ, we (the collective bunch of seniors, and "sick-of-where-we-are's") know we can't make all these decisions, and correctly, if you will, on our own and through our own strength. We need divine inspiration and guidance to take the right steps in our lives, but how long do we wait to completely rely on Christ to pull through?All my pastors have at one point or another, in that one sermon which wouldn't quite fill the one hour quota they had for preaching, and therefore recluded back into talking about how Christians need go half way with something and then need wait for Christ to come the other half of that something. I do believe there is truth in people doing their part before relying on God 100%, but at what point is 'half way'?I am attempting to plan this next academic year (08-09) and I would most enjoy taking a year off to travel, to learn about myself, and to draw closer to God, but there are lots of details that must be cleared up before anything happens, and I was pondering, last night with my herbal tea, if maybe I've done enough researching, planning, and thinking, and that from this point on I just trust God to make known the way to go. I know that if I do "take my hands off and release, release" I still need to be spending tons of time in prayer and in connection with my Father so I can hear what He has to say or else I'll be wasting my time, and getting nowhere.The point I'm getting at, yes it took a while-forgive me, is that I don't know how to live my life as I have been, and live this 'spiritual faith walk' so often referred to in my Jr. High youth groups. Living the spiritual faith walk means I reject more common sense than may be healthy (Maybe more than be comfortable but I would err on the side of saying it's unhealthy before uncomfortable), but using solely common sense ensures disaster, so I am praying that a way to incorporate my common sense, and my gut instincts into the spiritual journey that I'm traveling is revealed to me.Working with trust is foreign.It's like working with air. How the heck do you do that at first exposure to it? Only after time and practice trusting, do we understand when we take our hands off and "release, release"Until that point of familiarity with the Holy Spirit, I believe that we must make decisions based on the information we have, and the gut feelings we have, and stick too them through the good and bad, and keep pursuing God through it so that even if we did make a bad turn back along the path, we can make it right by God's grace and mercy. So I am going to make a decision soon, and am going to stick to my decision and will keep listening to what God has to say about my decision and keep seeking further guidance and direction. Bid me a good journey. And pray.
5/28/08

"I think God speaks in a method like text messaging.
He sends us messages and sometimes they get lost in the airwaves,
And sometimes they get opened and never read
Sometimes they get read and never thought about
And sometimes He sends them from a number we don’t recognize, so we ignore them.
How we understand those messages is by opening the phone,
going into the inbox and reading through the messages we haven’t read before.
We must search for the reason or purpose in the message.
We can’t disregard any message because that might be the one
that has the words we need to hear.
We need to take every word for what it says at face value,
and then at a deeper level.
It is time for us to start purposely searching for what he is saying
He is god and he has a good heart to help His children
It is foolish to think he wouldn’t make himself available to us"-Me
5/17/08

"Our most intimate conversations can only be with God. For withpeople we must translate our thoughts into languages of the bodyand spoken word. But God hears our thoughts in unfiltered purityat the very moment we ourselves think them. He responds to oursouls in a language more native, more intimate and pure thaneven our dreams could manufacture." -Psalters
5/17/08


It's 11:06. I am attempting-failing- to do my homework. I keep drifting off into my idea of my future, and when you're in the future, you aren't functioning in the present.My boy Raf said to make motivational food, maybe using icing that writes positive messages which reaffirm my attempts to succeed in focusing. Instead I lied down in my bed, threw in some Rage and decided to invest in my well being before I fall prey to my notebooks. Again. Maybe, just maybe, I will reclude into my desk chair and read some more "The Death of Ivan Ilych", which need be finished and written about by Friday. Maybe I will continue to Facbook Chat Jess Ward and not get any work done, and be completely fine with it.Maybe I'll go back to reading "The Great Divorce"I've just recently decided, although have long prior contemplated, that I am better off, spending my time at home reading novels, listening to podcasts, and engaging in critical thinking, and philosophical discussions with those wiser, older, and more experienced than I, than I am in school where kids rise against the powers that be, fall below the administration radar, disappear to hte left and right of the central current of high school culture, and where nobody is ever held accountable for their actions.
5/13/08